CHAPTER 31 CORDELIA

ByDeep Thoughts
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© Opeyemi Akintunde

The boy didn’t hesitate. He grabbed my elbow and, with a rough whisper…

“Now!”…

He shoved me through a back door I hadn’t noticed before. It led into a narrow service passage, dark and smelling of bleach. We moved like thieves, bent double, feet silent on cold concrete. At a point, he turned back.

*****
I scrambled into my room, heart in my mouth, lungs burning.

I hadn’t even caught my breath when I heard it…Footsteps…

Father.

My whole body seized. My knees almost gave way. I was still pacing, sobbing, shaking when he opened the door and stepped in.

“What is the matter, My Eve?” His voice was calm, too calm. He scanned me with those searching eyes, the eyes that could peel back a person’s soul.

Something rose in me like fire…I wanted to grab a knife and plunge it into him, to rip him into pieces for every face I had just seen.

My hands twitched. My chest heaved.

But the invisible force was still with me. The Force pressed down on me like a heavy blanket. It steadied my nerves. It wouldn’t let me act foolishly.

Father tilted his head, his gaze narrowing. “Why are you scared? What are you hiding?”

I froze.

His voice was probing, testing. My mind raced. Then his words came, and my blood turned to ice.

“If you are not happy with our union,” he said, “I can tell the Lord that your heart has fallen below standard…that you cannot bear the weight of being Mother Eve.”

The exact words the boy had warned me about. The same lie Father had used to discard the others. I knew if I broke now, if I trembled too much, I would be the next body to be tagged, bagged, and retailed.

So I forced my lips to move. My voice cracked, but I shaped it carefully.

“I am… just overwhelmed,” I said, clutching my chest as though from awe, not horror. “I feel so small for this great task. It is such a great privilege to be wife to you, Father.”

Something shifted in me right there. The survival instinct kicked in strong. It was either be smart and live or be foolish and die. I had served ministers of God too well in my life not to know the trick. I knew how to stroke an ego, how to make a man of God think the world revolved around him.

Father Soji, you just met your match.

I bowed low, then sank to my knees, head bent, voice steady.

“Father,” I whispered, “do with me as you please. My body… is a place of worship.”
He smiled faintly, satisfied. He thought he had won.
But I knew. I had learned. To survive here, I had to play the game.

And I was ready.

“Good! I will be back for that worship, be ready” He smiled like a devil that he was…

Soft, wicked, deceiving…

He left as quietly as he had come, the door closing behind him with the soft, final click of someone who believes a job is done. I stayed on my knees for a little while after he was gone. The invisible force withdrew, leaving me with all the noise I’d been holding down…fear, grief, fury, shame…stacked like a crate of egg that I had to carefully put down.

In the silence, another feeling rose: a cold, sharp clarity. Survival demanded masks. To live I would have to become the very thing they expected: meek, thankful, obedient. To live I would let him think he had me. I would let him sleep with me, let him believe my body was praise, and in the night I would learn…observe, listen, remember…until I found the chains’ weakest links.

Outside, through the thin wall, I heard footsteps …more voices coming and going…devotion had ended. I rose slowly, smoothed my face with trembling fingers, and prepared the face I would give the world.

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24 Comments

  1. Hmmm!
    “Survival instinct”
    It feels like God is shaping her in those moments by being silent and pushing her. God must have placed the “pity-boy” in waiting for her!

    Ride on,Ma
    More Grace,ma 🙏

    Reply

  3. Father Soji, the devil incarnate himself. After disflowering Cordelia, her heart has fallen below standard. So fast, getting ready to discard women at intervals.

    Fear, who no fear Soji the father.

    Reply

    1. Replying to @

      For everyone situation you will pass through in life, the all wise God use to prepare His people ahead.

      Cordelia work with God ministers and the church prepared her for this great task.

      Reply

  5. I want to believe this is a dream, probably as she’s waiting for her to be chosen to come into the house to save Cordelia shes having this nightmare for her to be able to strategies properly before going in because I don’t want to believe that God will allow her to loose her virginity in this horrible manner….though His ways is not our way. Greater Grace and inspiration on you ma.

    Reply

    1. Replying to @Anuoluwapo Oladapo

      I feel it’s actually happening just like in “when God is silent” but I also wish it’s a dream 🥹🥹

      Reply

  6. Mummy please release the complete story na🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

    Reply

  7. Thank God she was a spirit filled woman b4 entering d den. Am sure the reason she can still tell d story is that the Holy Spirit has tasks for her in that place. But what’s happening back in her church? Or are they part of these too? Just curious though. More grace mummy Opeyemi. Thank u ma

    Reply

  11. This invisible force hmm…
    Mabel has gone through a lot ahh.
    Can’t imagine. All your life, visions, dreams, even her virginity gone! To a “third Adam”.
    Ah

    Reply

  12. These lines really struck me:
    that she’s like David being prepared on the fields b4 he was crowned as a king…
    “Something shifted in me right there. The survival instinct kicked in strong. It was either be smart and live or be foolish and die. I had served ministers of God too well in my life not to know the trick. I knew how to stroke an ego, how to make a man of God think the world revolved around him.
    Father Soji, you just met your match.’
    More grace ma

    Reply

  13. I feel she should have not given in to fear. Although it’s not easy.

    Fear is a terror, it can lead to compromise

    Reply

  16. Mabel, you just have to keep surviving. May it not be heard that you died along the line and Cordelia had to finish up the story for you. God help your church 🙏

    Reply